Written by Dan
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From: "Bikes R Fun"
Date: Tue, 03 Jul 2001 08:38:04 -0700
Subject: 5th of July Bikeride

Three cheers for the red white and blue...do do do, do do do, do da doooo do.

I just found this section in my sixth grade history book. I guess my teacher never assigned it to be read. I was shocked to find out the real truth behind the 4th of July. Independence 101 says that many Americans erroneously hold their Independence Day celebrations on the 4th of July when in fact the true celebrations took place on the 5th.

You see, the forefathers actually typed up the Declaration of Independence the morning of the 4th of July. It wasn't until around noon when they clicked "send" and sent off their declaration to Great Britain.

During the rest of the day many of the forefathers were filled with anxiety after sending this bold declaration. Many suffered from very upset stomachs through the day. As night approached with no reply from GB, many of our forefathers became sick to their stomachs and began to vomit.

Today, Americans show their respect to what our forefathers suffered through that day by stuffing our faces with nasty foods like hotdogs and chili and washing it down with Budweiser to induce the same guttural reactions our forefathers suffered through. And once the sun goes down, we set of fireworks as a symbolic gesture to those forefathers who couldn't contain their stomachs and exploded into violent stomach spasms.

Unbeknownst to most Americans, it was actually the 5th of July, when Great Britain's email reply came back simply stating "OK," that our forefathers did their celebrating. And how awesome is it that the THURSDAY NIGHT BIKE RIDE falls on the all American holiday of the 5th OF JULY!!!!!!!

So bring out the flags!!! Keep all those red, white and blue ribbons and napkins and decorate your bikes. Wear red, white and blue one more day. Go to Rite Aid and get your rightful Good-American discounts on patriotic consumable goods.

See you there. THURSDAY, JULY 5th, 9:30 PM, MISSION PLAZA

Peace