today is my gram's 79th birthday, so we went out to dinner.

it was a blast. we laughed a lot. grammy is losing her hearing and deathly afraid of being one of those deaf women that can't hear their own voice and begin to yell all their sentences. instead she has become one of those deaf women that can't hear their own voice and begin to talk just above a whisper.

our waiter had to ask her to repeat all of her requests. obviously he is not adept at senior citizen lip reading. he should brush up on that.

i told gram that next time she should bring a megaphone. or even better yet, we'll string two empty green bean cans together and the waiter can hold one up to his ear while she orders her soup and salad.

the laughs came at her expense, but she took 'em like a trained pro.

my gram is the type that eats a half a cup of chili and declares she just couldn't eat another spoonful. she specifically avoids restaurants that serve big portions. so you can imagine our collective surprise when she damn near polished off a turkey pot pie the size of texas and then ordered dessert.

"wow!" she said, amazed at herself. "good thing my birthday isn't every day."

"yeah," said stepdad bill, "cuz then you would be *really* old."

gram howled along with the rest of us.

and then i looked over at her, across the table and she is just beautiful. a year away from eighty and not even half her head of pretty wavy-straight hair is grey yet. her skin is beautiful and rosy. and her eyes kind of twinkle with mischief.

she's a joker.

i tried (half-heartedly) to pawn little clara bones off on her, but she wouldn't have it. too attached to her growly, high-maintenance siamese, bear. "oh," she said, "bear has so much personality!"

"so does clara," thought i. "and colorful breath to match!"

but the real plus is that clara is a lap cat and i think they both would benefit from that.

i only had time for dinner, so we are going to see a movie this weekend. don't know what we'll see yet, but i totally look forward to it. gram is the type that has fun wherever she goes, plus she loves my house.

"i just love your house," she says. "all those people. so many fun stories. does chris still live there?"

i think my living arrangement is something she would do if she were me. in fact i think we have a lot in common, she and i.

at her apartment complex, meals are included in the price of rent, yet she doesn't join in.

"you should!" i told her tonight. "have some food and make some new friends."

"oh!" she said to me, quite disappointed in my suggestion. "*i* have friends." but she said this in a very low and serious voice with a stern countenance. and i just burst out laughing, at the unfriendly, serious manner in which she takes these freindships.

and i saw some of myself in there as well. how weird i am about my time and my space and my little routines. how often people will have to approach me twice before i can come out and play nice with others.

family is a funny thing that way. i know how very lucky i am to have the relationships i have with mine. i know how lucky i am to have someone who will eagerly laugh at herself just for the fun of laughing. and how lucky i am to share a laughing birthday meal with my 79 year-old beautiful grandmother.

i love her.

m.

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